It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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