Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i want to swaddle you in tequila
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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