we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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