i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I CAN MOONWALK!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
