i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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