possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
