So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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