it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
