Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
