A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
