I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
