dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize