I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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