there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
