question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
