She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
