Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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