I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
