Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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