Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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