Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
