wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just cut my nipple shaving
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
