My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize