he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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