She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
