Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
