Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The adults are the big ones right?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
