I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
