after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
