Having a random hookup so left but love u
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
