I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize