Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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