only you would photoshop your dick
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize