Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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