So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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