This girl is more easily done than said...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
