For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
