I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
