I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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