Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
