All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize