He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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