You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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