butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Are my feet made of real feet?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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