if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
