Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
