my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize