She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
