i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
