According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
