The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
