worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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