they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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