i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize