I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
