I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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