school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Randomize
