mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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