it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
