I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
