this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm at about main and main street
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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