Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
