She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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