Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I want to make a zoo with you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just pee around me
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
