His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
